Saturday, April 28, 2012

stranger danger

anytime I leave the kids at home, I remind Chloe not to answer the door (among oh about 1000 other things).  Tots should have taken my own advice.  Doorbell rang - dog starts barking, Piper takes off running "I gets it"...I'm assuming it's the mailman dropping off a package but open the door to find a very odd woman standing at my door.  She had on a tool belt that had 2 white towels, a spray bottle full, and a pair of pliers.  She was holding a leather pouch type thing.  She said "hello...are you the lady of the house? And which of you (looking at the crazy dog that was doing laps around my legs & Piper who had started spinning in circles) would be the head of the household?"  Piper stops spinning & says "I da boss round here"  Then the woman looks at me and says "I'm looking for a new home, do you want to adopt me?"  Followed by a loud almost hee-haw laugh.  I "nicely" asked the woman if I could help her - and let her know I was right in the middle of something (ok so it was just blog stalking...err I mean reading but whatev).  She pulled her spray bottle out of her tool belt and showed me the handmade peeling label (part computer printed, part handwritten) about 1/2 full of clear liquid.  Since this isn't a Lifetime movie...she didn't squirt it in my face & then steal my dog or anything...but she did want to give me a cleaning demo.  I decline saying I was getting ready to put Piper down for a nap (not sure she believed me since the spinning had resumed with an added rendition of "video killed the radio star").  She then says she can come back - I come clean (no pun intended) and say that I have enough cleaning products.  "But are yours organic?  Mine works inside & outside - it will get the mold & mildew off your house (I have mold?), rust stains off your driveway, you can use it to clean your car, and if's non-toxic so if you drink it, it will just make you poop a lot"  At this point, I'm looking around for a camera crew cause I'm just sure I'm being punked.  No Ashton Kutcher in my yard so determine this chick is for reals.  I say again that I really need to go but thanks for stopping by - quickly shut door.  Piper says "Mama, you shut the door & I not show her my music box" (cause we usually show wonky women selling fake cleaning products door to door our prized possessions).  I tell her that I didn't know that woman so it was ok - Piper yells out "STRANGER DANGER!!!  You a good girl Mama for not goin' in her car or eatin' her candy!"

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